January is almost over and I can breathe a sigh of relief. As new years and new starts go, this month has been a disaster. February cannot be worse! I have done nothing that I planned to, am behind in just about everything (including mailing my last three Christmas presents!) and to top if off, I managed to pull something in my leg! A month to put behind me and not dwell on, a month that has also convinced me that I still have ways to go in my parenting goals. Put simply, all I have done all month is take care of Elise (and to a much lesser degree Laura and Anthony) since she started preschool. She barely goes for a day or two before she comes home with some version of the flu, vomit ting, diarrhea or just a high fever or an infection that needs antibiotics! When she’s sick, she’s too sick to do anything but lay on me and sleep, when she starts to feel better, she’s grumpy and unpleasant. Her appetite is non-existant so I’m sure you’re not surprised to learn that she tires easily. I might sound egotistical here but I am sick of her being sick! I want to move on. I want to do something other than take care of a sick child–my sick child. I want back some of the empathy I had at the beginning of the month. I want time to blog, to write, to buy stamps and postcards, to go out without wondering if it’s a good idea to take Elise with me, to see something other than the walls of my house without feeling like I’m not being a good Mom (whatever that is)! Tomorrow is February 1st and I’ve decided to treat it as a fresh start–sure Elise will still be taking her antibiotics but if I can convince myself that I’ve turned the page, the rest will surely follow and I’ll be able to enjoy life a bit more again!